The other day a woman stood in the return line at Target with an overflowing cart of baby items. When she reached the cashier, she said, “I’d like to return everything in my cart.”
“Most of these are duplicates,” she said, pulling out items and placing them on the counter in front of her. “They are all on my baby registry.”
Returning Baby Shower Gifts
The cashier began chatting with the mom-to-be.
“You want to return all of this?” the cashier asked.
“Yes,” she said. “I’d rather have a Target gift card. I don’t need all of these baby clothes and blankets.” She told the cashier that she was returning almost everything she received from her baby shower.
The cashier probed for more information. At first, the mom-to-be said, she didn’t need that much stuff. She was happy with the basics, including a few onesies, diapers, wipes, and a baby sling.
Then she confessed to creating a registry even though she planned to return the gifts.
“I know my friends and family want to buy me stuff, but I don’t need it. I couldn’t ask for money,” she said, “so I made a baby registry. Now I’m here to return everything.”
How to Return Baby Shower Gifts Without Receipt
It turns out this mom-to-be created a registry with the full intention of returning just about everything she received.
“I can buy what I want when I want it,” she said. “Then I can buy what I want later,” she said with a grin. “I can even buy groceries.”
How to Return Baby Shower Gifts to Target
Before walking away from the register, she told the cashier a trick. “Some people bought stuff that wasn’t on my baby registry. I was able to scan the bar codes and add them after the fact. I returned even more stuff than I thought I would!”
Registering and Returning Gifts
When I got married nearly five years ago, I considered not registering for gifts. My husband and I didn’t need much stuff in our lives.
Eventually, friends and family convinced me to create a registry. They rightly assumed that people would buy us things, so we might as well get stuff we wanted.
“It’s better than receiving cheap, thoughtless gifts or telling someone you don’t like the gift,” they told me.
I suppose most bride and grooms and parents-to-be want cash and gift cards in place of household and baby items they may or may not want or need.
I can see why this mom-to-be wanted the flexibility to purchase what she wanted. Somehow it still feels wrong, though. It’s sad to think that her friends and family went out and purchased items she fully intended to return.
Do you think it’s wrong to create a registry with the full intention of returning the gifts you receive?
This is why I ALWAYS give wipes and diapers as baby gifts!
That is a strange situation. And, I don't know how this woman won't be found out. 90% of her stuff? Won't people notice when her child has NOTHING that anyone has bought her? When we had our baby people were on the lookout for their special item that they chose to buy you. People want to feel appreciated for their time and effort. I'm a bit put off by her disingenuineness. The fact that she didn't have anyone that she could tell or express what her true needs were is strange and sad to me. I feel bad for her friends and family. If she truly needs groceries and household supplies why can't she let them know that? I think it will lead people to be suspicious of her. When you have a registry there's no insurance you'll get everything but whatever you do get should be appreciated because YOU said you wanted it!
Jerry
That's too bad that she couldn't tell those she was closest to that a gift card would be more helpful. (I am surprised that Target let her return that much stuff. I read reviews when choosing which places to create a wedding registry because I heard they had a bad return policy.) I don't think if she was intending on returning most everything that she should have gone that route.
Like you, when I got married I had a difficult time with the wedding registry, because cash and gift cards really would have been more helpful – I could buy things on sale as I discovered I needed them. I ended up returning some things later, which I felt bad abount. At the time though, people kept telling me I needed more things on it, and I added things that after the fact I realized I didn't actually need.
But I also understand that people want to buy cute gifts for weddings and baby showers. I wish there was a ranking mechanism on registries (like they have on Wishpot) – is that tacky? At least that way you'd know what the recipient most wants, vs. something that would be nice to have.
ok. maybe it's b/c I come from a culture where cash is the primary present. But this is disgusting. I mean it's a COMPLETE waste of money if people had stuff shipped to her house. That is lost postage to the gift giver.
If I ever found out a friend did this to me, I wouldn't speak to them again. I'd rather just give them a check if that's what they really wanted and I'd be horribly offended that my friend couldn't be honest.
This is a tough one. I can easily see both sides. I hate to say it but a few years into my marriage several wedding gifts went to Goodwill because they had never seen the light of day and we have such limited storage place in our apartment. I guess being able to return is better than that. My thought is that she should have waited to return as "not needed." Return the 3 mo clothes you didn't get to wear before they were outgrown.
I can see her viewpoint, but I agree that it creates waste for the giftgivers – wasted time, effort, and postage. Not to mention a waste of her time returning the stuff she never wanted in the first place. I think our culture makes it very difficult for people to either ask for or give cash or cash equivalents as gifts. If you ask for cash, you seem greedy and crass. If you offer cash, then there's the issue of the person knowing exactly how much money you thought would be an appropriate gift. It may amount to the same with a registry, but there's at least a thin cloaking of the dollar value.
Personally, I try to give cash to newlyweds or new parents, because honestly that's what would have been most useful to me. If I can't do that, then I will pick something from a registry, or simply ask the person directly what would be most useful. Sometimes people will tell you, other times the cultural prohibitions interfere.
I think it's wrong. If she were exchanging gifts, that would be one thing. But to register for baby items, just to return it for gift cards for her own use? That's just weird and kind of unethical.
The gifts are supposed to be in relation to the baby. If someone just gives you a gift card at a baby shower, I suppose you are free to use it. But this woman was returning baby items so she could get whatever she wanted.
Ugh.
I wish it was more socially acceptable to simply be able to come out and say "look, money would be most appropriate present so we could buy our own essentials for the baby/wedding/whatever". If it was, that woman simply wouldn't have had the problem.
Although I understand the woman's desire for cash and gift cards, her actions just seem greedy.
If she really didn't want gifts it seems like she could have asked for contributions to charity or even donated the items she received to help a family in need.
I guess the real question is what is the intention of the gift? To me the intention is to celebrate the birth of the baby. Not to buy the woman groceries for the next month.
While I don't see a problem with returning a few items from the registry I am surprised that she intentionally created a registry with the full intention of returning everything on it.
Why not just register for the things you really need? You can register for diapers and other essentials. As a gift-giver, I would be perfectly happy to purchase these items.