For the past two years I’ve maintained one and only one resolution: to accept the things I cannot change. It is easy to hold this resolve in good times and much more difficult to press on in times of distress. When a dose of antibiotics unexpectedly induced neuropathy I had a hard time accepting the cards I was given and when I failed month after month to conceive another child I certainly let my emotions get the best of me.
Thankfully these major life hurdles feel like a distant memory. My second child is due early this year and for the time being my neuropathy symptoms have all but disappeared. While one hurdle may stand behind me I know that another is probably hiding just around the corner.
While acceptance is certainly a key to persevering so is trying to remain positive when life drops the wind from your sails. I have found my greatest cheerleader is my husband who cheers for my small victories and pick up the pieces of my emotional state when I am unable to pick them up myself.
This year though I hope to continue on my path to accept the things I cannot change, but I also hope to focus more on the joys and small victories around me.
One summer a few years ago I wrote down the happiest moments that occurred each week. It wasn’t elegant or elaborate, just a few words about happy events in my life. I came across that journal a few days ago and felt the love swell inside of me just by reading it. I want to remember those moments and use them to help me bridge the gaps that seem so dark and gloomy.
When my son was born three years ago my husband went through a deep depression. He wasn’t depressed about the birth of my son, but rather about the changes that occurred in our marriage and daily lives as a result of having had him. A year or so ago he began digging himself out of the darkness, but I know that having another baby will shake the foundation of our lives once again.
This year I want to focus on happiness. Though I know we may feel great stress I hope that we can keep sight of the joyful moments and carve out time to find joy together.
If anyone has suggestions on how to accomplish this goal please leave a comment below.
such an interesting post. i never considered dads going through depression as well. hope 2015 is healthy and happy for ya.
Thanks for the comment. I had no idea either, but it turns out it is more common than you would imagine. It’s just something very rarely spoken about. I think it’s because men don’t express their feelings as often in public forums.