Last week an anonymous reader left a comment questioning my frugality. He/she seemed rather fed up by my recent expenses and let me know that he/she would no longer be reading One Frugal Girl. Now I wonder if that anonymous ex-reader thinks I’m not frugal or not frugal enough.
My wealthy great aunt used to stash wads of paper napkins, plastic dining ware and ketchup packets into her purse every time she dined at McDonald’s. While some would consider this frugal, some would say it’s miserly, and some would say it borders on theft.
I decided to look up the definition of frugality and found the following:
prudence in avoiding waste
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwnFrugality is the practice of acquiring goods and services in a restrained manner, and resourcefully using already owned economic goods and services, to achieve a longer term goal.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FrugalityThe quality of being frugal; prudent economy; thrift; A sparing use
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/frugalityfrugal – Avoiding unnecessary expenditure either of money or of anything else which is to be used or consumed; avoiding waste
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/frugal
By these definitions I consider myself frugal. I try hard not to be wasteful. I re-purpose, reuse and recycle. I am not as fanatical as some, but I do my best in an attempt to avoid needless spending and to help preserve the earth.
For the most part I acquire goods and services in a restrained manner. While I do spend money on things I want I often wait for a sale or coupon, and more often than not I convince myself I already have an item at home that will serve the same purpose. I primarily limit spending in an effort to reach long term goals. Those goals may include remodeling the house, buying beach property or retiring early, but I can often set aside today’s desires for those of tomorrow.
The fact is that I am frugal by nature, not by necessity. This means I can often afford the things I deny myself. Here’s a perfect example… I am a huge fan of Entenmann’s chocolate cakes. I pass the table of Entenmann’s baked goods every single time I go to the grocery store, but I only buy a cake every four or five weeks when Entenmann products goes on sale.
The retail price of that cake is $4.59 at my local grocery store. Can I afford to pay $4.59 for that cake? Well, yes I can. Nevertheless I choose not to indulge weekly. I wait for a sale and even write to the company every so often in the hopes of receiving coupons. I am frugal not because I do not have the money to pay for that cake, but because I choose to save my money for larger, longer-term goals.
I will plunk money down on large expenses from time to time. I will buy expensive furniture or spend thousands of dollars on season tickets to sporting events. I balance my every day saving strategies against my longer-term goals so that I can spend money on the things I want.
In my opinion this does not mean I’m not frugal. As Donna Freedman once wrote “it’s not about who cuts the most corners. It’s about using money intentionally.” I think very purposefully about how I save and spend my money and thus I consider myself frugal, others may not.
I agree — and not just because you quoted me! (I'm honored.) The whole point of watching what you spend is so that you can send the money in the direction you wish it to go, instead of bleeding cash aimlessly throughout the day.
Enjoy that chocolate cake, just as I enjoy my massages. I've earned the money, I've looked for the best deal (Groupon et al.) and I enjoy them fully.
Don't let people like this stop your from your intended rounds, my dear. (Think of it as sort of like the post office!) There are a lot of people out there right now who are under pressure — and they get rid of it by being snotty to someone else. (Note that poster was doing so anonymously!)
I've gotten some rude comments on my blog, too…the most came when I dared to suggest that a woman who enjoyed wearing only gloves and a thong while 'gardening' in her front yard (across the street from an elementary school, for God's sake!) should stop it. Now. I was accused of inhibiting 'personal freedoms,' told my blog was a huge waste of time — and oh yes, I was an idiot, too.
So this person disagrees with you. Big deal. Delete them while humming, "Hit the road, Jack, and dontcha come back no more, no more…" And keep writing, for people like me!
I,m not sure I would leave a post from an anonymous reader on my blog, if they have not taken the time to sign up and leave a user name then I would be inclined to think they were out to stir the waters.
I think you are frugal not mean not tightfisted but making sure your hard earned money goes exactly where you want to will make the most use of it.
OOOPPPPssss Not good English at all, but I hope you got my drift.
What I always say is that I use coupons, stockpile, and shop sales is so that I can spend the money on the fun things and not feel guilty, while still being able to save and invest. It's all about balance!
wow they threatened to stop reading your blog because you weren't doing things the way THEY wanted you to?
That's just stupid.
I really enjoy personal finance blogs and would share more of my finances on my blog, but this sort of criticism is a huge deterrent. I don't want some self-righteous stranger to feel at liberty to tell me I shouldn't have bought shoes/dresses/laptops/iphones/vacations/whatever because I still-have-student-debt/have-a-small-income/am-not-saving-enough-for-retirement/etc.
And $4.59 is not expensive! I would buy one of those cakes every week =) haha
All that said, I was reading one blog and the person was so in debt and it was so bad collections were calling, and they were in the midst of planning a family vacation to DISNEYLAND. I was like wtf?? Do the collections agencies know you're socking away thousands for vacation?
But I didn't say anything, not even anonymously. Sigh.
I applaud you for addressing mr/ms anonymous and I like how you handled the criticism. I enjoy reading your blog as a source of information, inspiration, and a reality check. Keep up the good work, from one frugal girl to another.
Thanks for all of the encouraging comments. I'll certainly continue to blog despite the criticism, but I love that you all backed me up!
To me, being frugal just means deliberately choosing where and how to spend one's money.
I don't actually think of myself as frugal. I don't know why .. I think I just don't really love that particular word. But I do wash and re-use plastic bags (for example) and I do spend intentionally in most areas — so whether or not I apply that word to myself, it is fitting. Whether or not other people agree. 🙂
Frugality is definitely in the eye of the beholder. What is frugal for one person will not be frugal for another.
BTW – I totally thought of you when my husband and I spent 3x our budget on a gorgeous teak outdoor table and chairs. The joy we get and will get from that set made it such a worthwhile purchase.